I'm Not a Baby
by Super Shadowsonic
Summary: Being the youngest can be tough. Being the youngest with five older brothers...it can be rather frustrating.


_**A/N:** I can't help but notice not a lot of people like Todomatsu, and to be fair he is a total jerk. Two face. A heartless monster who may potentially have a behavioral disorder. But out of all the brothers I feel like I can relate to him in the idea of being the younger sibling. Sometimes, it sucks, weather we admit it or not. So with that in mind I somewhat sympathize with his need to want to separate himself from his brothers. This is for all the younger/youngest siblings out there!_

* * *

 _ **I'm Not a Baby!**_

"Hey Totty!" Osomatsu exclaims tussling Todomatsu's hair as the boy sits in the living room staring at his phone. Todomatsu was surprised he hadn't heard Osomatsu come in, he must've been quiet just to sneak up on him or something.

"Hey nii-san," Todomatsu replies half-heartedly with a half-smile. Osomatsu smirks at him before turning toward the TV. He turns the set on to sit down and watch.

"Did you eat anything?" Osomatsu asks.

"Yeah, a few hours ago."

"You hungry, I may not be that good in the kitchen but-."

"It's fine I'm not hungry. I can go out and get something myself if I am."

"Hm, well okay, but if you do let me know I may be hungry later too so I'll go with you."

Todomatsu stares at the back of his brother's head almost in a look akin to glaring. Though it wasn't as intense but he was definitely annoyed. He hated when Osomatsu did that, honestly, he hated when any of his brothers did that. When they treat him like a baby. It was annoying and all of his brothers were guilty of it. Osomatsu doesn't know the first thing about preparing a meal yet he's prepared to offer something like that knowing he can't cook? Rather idiotic if he was honest.

"Karamatsu let go!" Todomatsu exclaims with his face turning a bright red as his elder brother held on tight. Karamatsu literally grabbed his hand as they walked across the street the other day. He refused to let go either even as Todomatsu yelled at him to be released. It was embarrassing on levels he couldn't even comprehend.

"Don't worry Totty it's fine there isn't any need to worry," He says in that annoying tone of voice.

"I'm not yelling because I'm worried!" he fires back heatedly. It was made even more painful by the fact that some people chuckled at seeing them.

Or another time with Choromatsu when it was a bit cold outside.

"You should probably put on a thicker jacket and a scarf." His green dressed brother stated.

"Why do I have to put that stuff on, it's not that cold!?" Todomatsu demands annoyed. It was colder today than it was yesterday sure, but it wasn't like it was a Russian winter.

"Well it's better safe than sorry since you don't wear enough layers anyway." He chides practically chocking Todomatsu with the scarf as he wraps it around his neck.

"Choromatsu-niisan, I'm just going up the street to the store!" he exclaims. But before he knows it he's pushed out the front door with a thick winter coat, a scarf, and his hat. He was burning up the entire walk there to the store. He noted some people raises their eyebrow at the thick winter coat when most people only had on a wind breaker or a light jacket.

Even Ichimatsu was guilty of it! Heck, he may even be the worst one about it surprisingly.

"Totty, what are you doing?" Ichimatsu asks walking into the kitchen. Todomatsu turns to look at him with a sharp chef's knife in his hand.

"Dicing tomatoes, and then I've gotta dice these onions for this sauce. I'm making-,"

"I'll do that," Ichimatsu states curtly cutting in. His eyes never left the sharp knife in Todomatsu's hand. He takes it right out of Todomatsu's hand and positions himself in front of the chopping board. "You can start cooking your noodles for your pasta. Careful with the fire, actually just wait a sec and I'll help with that."

"Help with boiling water!" Todomatsu exclaims throwing is hands up completely perplexed by the idea.

And then Jyushimatsu…the most energetic and playful of the bunch. Sometimes Todomatsu feels he's the youngest not him! But somehow, the responsibility of being an older brother had been engrained in him. But to his credit Jyushimatsu is the subtlest about doing it which was really startling since he doesn't do subtle. If Jyushimatsu is walking with him, he'll purposely place himself between Todomatsu and other people. Usually people that he doesn't recognize or feels a little off to him. It's subtle, but sometimes it's not when Todomatsu could be talking to someone he literally just met, and suddenly Jyushimatsu forces his way in between them effectively ending the conversation. How else is a person supposed to act after getting a face full of Jyushimatsu?!

It was hard dealing with his brothers on a normal basis, but having them hovering over him. That's something he's not sure how long he can deal. It's pretty much been his entire life. Granted collectively when they were all together they didn't do things like that. He didn't get it honestly, but that didn't make it any less annoying! And they wonder why he tries to cut them out of his life so much. He wants his own identity without his brothers. For most of his life his title has been, the youngest brother. That is what he is, but he doesn't want that to be who he is. He doesn't want that to define him as a person. The youngest brother, although some people might not see it that way. Since they all are technically the same age. But clearly his brothers don't see it that way and they treat him like a baby.

So as he's sitting here staring at the back of Osomatsu's head he wonders what he needs to do to escape this. He's already over 20 years old, if it hasn't stopped by now, it probably never will. Especially given the maturity level of his brothers as a collective group. He'll never be free from this prison or the pressures of being youngest brother. It's not without its advantages and shortcomings. Sure you can get away with a lot more stuff, but as you get older it becomes a position with perks that no longer matter. You can't do some of the things your older brothers can, you have to respect them, and sometimes that can easily can go to their heads. Even if the youngest has proven themselves capable, his older brothers still feel the need to take care of him. Even though it's completely unnecessary at this point! He doesn't need his brothers! He can do anything on his own…without them.

"Hey Totty," Todomatsu perks up at his nickname. Osomatsu didn't turn to look at him. "Do you know where everyone else is?"

"No, but I'm sure they should show up here eventually."

"Hm…" Osomatsu responds. His eyes leave the TV for a moment to glance at Todomatsu. "Is something wrong?"

"Wrong?" Todomatsu questions.

"Yeah, you seem down about something." He states.

Todomatsu inwardly curses. Osomatsu was a daft idiot, but his big brother intuition was usually on point. He could always figure out that something was wrong with one of them even if he didn't know what it was. "Nothing's wrong, I'm not down about anything."

"Aw come on, you can tell your eldest brother!" Osomatsu says turning to face Todomatsu now.

"Nothing is wrong Osomatsu-niisan. It's just your imagination." Todomatsu turns his attention to his phone now. Before he could do anything though the phone is taken from his hand. "Hey!" he glares at his older brother's smirking face.

"Come on tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong!" Todomatsu exclaims standing up to reach for his phone.

"You sure act like something is-,"

"There isn't anything wrong now give it back!"

"Totty you're-,"

"Give it back now!" Todomatsu screams grabbing for his phone that was just out of his range. Osomatsu has it in his left hand and holding his brother back with his right. "Give it!"

"Totty, calm down," Osomatsu states with a frown on his face now. "Your acting like a baby."

"THEN STOP TREATING ME LIKE ONE!" he screams. Mind no longer on the phone he shoves Osomatsu.

"Where did that come from?" Osomatsu questions.

"You guys are always treating me like a baby. Like I can't do anything without you guys. Well I don't need it!"

"Eh, baby you, I don't know what you're talking about. I leave you alone most of the time." Osomatsu says confused.

"You guys are so frustrating I just hate it so much…"

Osomatsu suddenly gives him a sympathetic look. "Oh, well we can talk about it if you want Totty."

Hearing that nickname made his blood boil again. Like he was still a little kid. "My name is Todomatsu!" He couldn't be here right now. He couldn't allow his other brothers to come in and see him so upset. They'll worry, they'll hover, and then he'll be angry all over again. He slips on his shoes then runs out ignoring Osomatsu calling him to come back. By the time he stops he finds himself far down the road on a sidewalk approaching the nearby park. He takes a moment to catch his breath wincing at the cold air filling his lungs. He forgot how cold it was outside. Also, he realizes after he calmed down that he was crying. Instantly he was frustrated with himself again since he just demanded to stop being treated like a baby but he storms out in tears. It was a contradictive argument if he's ever heard on. He sighs before walking toward the park. He may find a bench to sit down on or something. He just needed a few minutes to cool off. No doubt his eldest brother would track him down sooner more so then later. But he's frustrated, he doesn't know what to do to get them to back off. He even pretty much cut them out his life for the most part outside of the house. But it doesn't change how much he loves his brothers, it doesn't! He could never hate them, because despite the annoying overbearing nature he can tell that it's not out of spite. It's completely genuine and out of care….

Wait…

They did those things out of care. Why did that thought take him by surprise?

" _Probably because you were too busy being annoyed_." A part of him said. That's probably true.

"They'd…do anything for me…wouldn't they…" Even the outrageous demand to treat him as a stranger in certain social situations. They respected that choice even if they didn't like it. They always put his interests before their own. He's never been bullied by someone outside the family a day in his life, but his other brothers can't say the same oddly enough. For a moment there was one kid in high school that was used to getting his way. He was some big meathead that used his abnormal size to boss kids around. He suspected that some of the teachers were scared of him too. However, Todomatsu had made the inaccurate assumption that this big hulking guy was all bark and no bite. Todomatsu refused his demands flippantly which lead to a black eye and a busted lip for it. Now his brothers were a part of the crowd of people who were terrified of this guy. But when his brothers saw him after the incident, he'd never forget the scary looks on their faces. The rage filled stares they held, even Jyushimatsu's smirk fell into a frown. Their facial expression hadn't changed much, if at all. But Todomatsu has come to the realization that the eyes are the best well to tell his brothers apart and how they feel. At that moment his brother's eyes all looked to same to him, a collective hive mind of rage. Long story short Todomatsu never had trouble with the guy ever again hence why even at this point he can't even remember his name. Rumors had floated around that he was in the hospital from some random yakuza attack or something. His brothers to this day have also never owned up to it, even straight laced Choromatsu played dumb when Todomatsu became suspicious.

" _So having big brothers who care that much about you can't be a bad thing huh?_ "

He supposed not, but he wished they could stop caring sometimes. Like they were all the same age technically! Besides he may be the youngest, but Osomatsu had four other older brothers to worry about too. Why did he deserve so much unwanted attention? Todomatsu finally finds a bench in the park and immediately sits down to relax a moment. Honestly, he doesn't think he can be here long. His hoodie wasn't the best at keeping out this cold. The last thing he wanted though was to come home and see his brothers all grouped together sitting in silence. Or worst of all having a search party! Ugh, they've done it before too. One night he had went out to play pachinko. Unfortunately, he won which meant he had to hide his winnings from his brothers. The worry had caused him to stay out a lot longer and later then he meant to. His brothers disguised as police officers, for some reason, freaken chased him down. What the heck!?

They say it was for him trying to hide his winnings, but Todomatsu had saw through that rather quickly. The moment Choromatsu and Ichimatsu found him they pointed out how late it was. Naturally, they had noticed how late he was out and went looking for him. They figured they'd scare the shit out of him too, demonstrate how worried they were and still mooch off his winnings. Yes, they were total jerks about it and went about it the wrong way. But the message was obvious. A message that was annoying still for them to go to that extreme! So a search for him is something he definitely didn't want. Even when he did wonder around his brothers always found him pretty quickly.

"Totty," came a voice. Todomatsu was surprised, he wouldn't have imagined he'd been found this quickly. He must've lost track of time. He reaches for his phone but realizes he didn't have it. He grumbles before looking over to see Ichimatsu.

"Hey Ichimatsu-niisan." Todomatsu responds dryly. He doesn't try to put on an air with Ichimatsu, he's pretty indifferent to it anyways. Ichimatsu only nods before moving to take a seat right next to him. He reaches into his pocket to pull out Todomatsu's phone before handing it off to him. "Oh, thanks…" Todomatsu says somewhat hesitantly as he takes the phone. So clearly he had made it home after Todomatsu left. Todomatsu looks to see he had three missed calls, all from home. Todomatsu snorts that it took Osomatsu three calls to realize he didn't have his phone on him and that it was still at home.

"Osomatsu-niisan said you ran off. How come?" he asks simply.

"…maybe I was wrong. I don't know really." Todomatsu admits. He didn't particular care for Ichimatsu's attitude half the time, but he admits that his fourth older brother was a better listener then the other four combined. "I feel like you guys treat me like a baby all the time. I mean sure I may act childish, but that isn't all my fault! It's how you guys treat me, being the youngest brother shouldn't be what defines me!"

Ichimatsu only nods. "Ok…"

"You probably think I'm acting like a child."

"To be honest I know how sly you can be." Ichimatsu says shooting a glance at Todomatsu. "It isn't something I like…I get it though."

"What does that mean?"

"Do you know what it's like to be an elder brother?"

At this Todomatsu admitted he had no answer. Each one of his brothers except Osomatsu was both a younger brother and older brother. He didn't know exactly what it meant to be an older brother. "No, I guess I don't…"

"It's pressure…even if we are the same age, none of us have ever seen it that way. I call Osomatsu, Shittymatsu, and Choromatsu nii-san. And you call all of us nii-san, so us being the same age is moot. With that title comes responsibility believe it or not."

"But I'm not a baby!" Todomatsu exclaims.

"You woke me up three nights ago to go with you to the bathroom." Ichimatsu responds.

Todomatsu's face goes red. "W-well t-that's-."

"It's not like I mind, we've all had to do it." Ichimatsu cuts in again. "You not being a baby doesn't change the fact that you're our baby brother." Ichimatsu says looking at Todomatsu with a rather passive expression. "We all have gotten babied by an elder except Osomatsu. Osomatsu doesn't know what it's like to be babied, so he wouldn't know how not to do it. The rest of us have, but unlike you we don't storm off."

Todomatsu frowns crossing his arms with an annoyed expression. Suddenly Ichimatsu places a scarf on Todomatsu's leg. Todomatsu is startled but Ichimatsu doesn't pay him any mind. Todomatsu wanted to resist taking it, but ended up wrapping it around his neck after a few moments. "So it's never going to stop?"

"Nope." Ichimatsu responds. He then stands up. "Let's go."

"That's it!" Todomatsu exclaims. "This was no help! I don't feel any better!"

"Eh?" Ichimatsu responds confused but slightly annoyed.

"'Get over it', that's all you can say!?" Ichimatsu responds with a stoic stare. Todomatsu's nerve began to waiver a bit under the gaze. Ichimatsu approaches Todomatsu then punches him in the face knocking Todomatsu to the ground. "WHAT THE HELL!?" he yells back rubbing his face.

"Do you wanna fight me?"

Todomatsu glares back biting his tongue. Ichimatsu was tougher then he looked and Todomatsu knew that. Trying to engage in a fight wouldn't end well for him. "No…but why'd you hit me?"

"I'm not good with words," Ichimatsu began before he stepped forward to hold out his hand to Todomatsu. "But what you felt, was a bit of what we all feel. If something happened to you, if you got hurt, or if we couldn't help you. It's our job to care whether you like it or not. We all feel the same, we just go about it different ways."

Todomatsu takes Ichimatsu's hand to be pulled onto his feet. He rubs his face. "…ow…"

"I'm sorry," Ichimatsu says. A statement he doesn't make and his face falls ever so slightly.

"…it's okay…" Todomatsu relents accepting it. Then after that Ichimatsu turns to lead the way back home. Todomatsu follows behind him with the two walking in silence the entire way back. Todomatsu can't help but rub his jaw at the low throbbing pain. Ichimatsu and his other elder brothers felt this way when he did something reckless. Is this what they felt when he told them he climbed Mount Everest by himself? Was this how they felt when they saw him in potentially dangerous situations?

They walk back in and based on the shoes at the door he could see everyone was home. But he can't help but note the haste at which the shoes were thrown by the door. Ichimatsu walks toward the living room to open the door. He turns to look back at Todomatsu for him to join him. Todomatsu sighs before he walks to the door to be greeted by all the worried faces of his brothers. As he expected they started asking what was wrong, what they could do to help, why he ran off, and what happened to his cheek. Todomatsu takes in mind the sting he felt when Ichimatsu hit him. This was a sting they all had wasn't it. But they might feel this way all the time, don't they? He's lived his entire life with his brothers watching over him. He's so stable as a person because his brothers had been there holding him up the entire time. So maybe he can put up with the nickname, the head pats, the hand holding, and shielding for a while. Suddenly he felt warmth as he realized that even if there are more cons to being the youngest there is one pro that beats everything. His brothers would move heaven or hell for him.

Osomatsu decided to begin after an elbow jab from Choromatsu, "Uh whatever I did Tot-I mean, Todomatsu I'm sorry for-,"

"No, I'm sorry Osomatsu-niisan. I didn't realize how tough it was to be the eldest brother. And come on niissan you can just call me Totty."

"Aww, Totty!" Jysushimatsu exclaims happily seeing the mood change.

"Yeah…I'm sorry for acting like that and-,"

"Forget about it," Osomatsu states quickly cutting in by raising his hand. Todomatsu flinches surprised, but he really wanted to get this out.

"But-,"

"It's fine Totty. I get it, apparently I can say things that can piss people off. I guess…" he says receiving a heated glare from Choromatsu. Clearly the third eldest brother had chided him for saying something that upset him.

Todomatsu smirks before laughing. This response confuses his brothers unprepared for him to react that way. Todomatsu knew that Osomatsu would normally never apologize for something he says to anyone. The fact that he did just now must means he cares a lot. A lot more then Todomatsu expected. "It's fine Osomatsu-niisan. But even though you guys are my older brothers I want you to know that I understand a bit now. You guys are… _okay_ older brothers. But you guys don't have baby me all the time. I just hope you guys can trust me to come to you when I need you."

"Oh…I get it," Choromatsu states. It seemed that everyone did except for Osomatsu, but that wasn't really his fault. "He'll be fine," He says looking at Osomatsu. With that said Osomatsu relaxes.

"Well I'm tired after everything let's clean ourselves up and get to bed," Osomatsu states. Everyone was in pretty much agreement. Choromatsu grabs Todomatsu's hand pulling him toward the kitchen to get an ice bag for his cheek. Todomatsu doesn't put up a fuss since he's sure he it wouldn't matter. He could faintly hear Osomatsu and Karamatsu chiding Ichimatsu a bit. They must've known that he had hit him…or maybe Ichimatsu wasn't the only brother in the park at that time. Wouldn't surprise him so who knows. They all went out to go to the public bath house. Even though he didn't want to Todomatsu had to keep the bag of ice to his face as they walked through the cold. They were in and out rather quickly unlike a normal night for them and returned home clean. Todomatsu was allowed to finally ditch the ice bag after the futon had been set up. They all changed into their pajamas and had gone to bed.

Now it was at this point in the middle of the night Todomatsu has the urge to use the bathroom. He hated the dark, and he hated being alone in the dark even more. It was a borderline irrational fear that he hated. He decided to face this fear though to prove he is growing up. He slides from under the futon, quickly and silently without making a noise. Came with a lot of practice and the fact Osomatsu slept like a log. He approaches their bedroom door then slides it open slowly. He looks to stare into the darkness of the hall he's called home for years. But utterly terrifying to him at night. He shakily placed a foot forward his nerve failing him.

"Totty?" questioned a voice half-asleep. Todomatsu glances back to see Karamatsu looking over to him with half lidded eyes. "You need to go to the bathroom?"

"I-I can…I can go myself…" He whispers. Karamatsu seemed rather unconvinced by this as he pulls himself out of futon to his feet.

"Come on," he says taking Todomatsu's hand to lead him in the darkness.

"Nii-san I can-,"

"I know you can, so I'll be here if you need me. I don't mind." He responds. The response wasn't forced, it wasn't him trying to be cool, it was just a response of a big brother. Todomatsu didn't respond he only tightened his grip on Karamatsu's hand. Just like he thought, some things never change. But he supposes he can lean on them for a little bit every now and then.


End file.
